Grow Your Communication Skills
Communication is one of the most important skills we can ever learn. It leads everything that we do—whether we’re communicating with colleagues to meet a deadline or communicating with family, friends, and partners in order to build a deeper understanding.
So many problems stem from poor communication. We don’t learn how to communicate in school; it’s something we must ‘pick up’ from the people around us. Unless we are blessed to have first-rate communicators in our close circle, we can often pick up bad habits.
Kick those bad habits to the curb. Your Toastmasters club members can help you practice good habits that will be instrumental in helping you grow your communication skills.
This month try practicing these skills:
- Never talk over people.
It’s exhausting when people insist on cutting you off mid-sentence, talking over the top of you and generally dominating airtime. As much as I hate it in others, I have been known to talk over the top of people as well. (Gasp!)
Sometimes it’s part of the fun and excitement, sometimes they don’t notice or don’t care and sometimes it’s just obnoxious and annoying. So this month take notice of the response in others. If it’s not welcome, then apologize for cutting them off and invite them to finish. Bite your tongue while they finish.
- Listen actively.
Focus on active listening. Active listening means you engage and give your undivided attention. You use body language and gestures in response to the other person based on what they have said. Other aspects of active listening is to defer judgement yet to provide feedback. Passive listening is simply the act of listening with no response.
- Don’t finish other people’s sentences.
I have to watch this myself. I used to think that I was helpfully finishing people’s sentences for them. Wrong. Research has shown by doing this you are disempowering the other person because you are taking control of the conversation, so bite your tongue!
- Paraphrase.
If you want to show that you have really understood someone, then paraphrasing is a great tool. All you do is repeat back to someone what they have just said, before you comment yourself. Paraphrase as a question and use some of the words that the other person used. Here’s an example: “If I’m hearing you right in this strategic planning workshop, you believe that more strategic planning should be done in our community?”
- Maintain eye contact.
By looking the other person in the eye, you are proving that you’re interested in what they’re saying. This also keeps you focused and less distracted.
Author: Michelle Hanchey (DTMx2)