“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
It doesn’t matter – your goals, industry or interests, there’s no getting around it: Personal relationships run the world.
Which leads us the question: “Why do some people seem to build instant rapport with just about everyone they meet, while most are left with a network of two or three?”
The successful networkers realize that people are people despite their money, social status or position. You can tap into their success in building instant relationships using the following connection tips:
1. Transparency: When you genuinely care about others you connect. Don’t really care – others will see right through your hypocrisy. If you don’t care you will not connect.
2. Focus: In Toastmasters it’s nearly impossible to genuinely offer help if you don’t pay attention — I mean real attention. We practice with giving speech evaluations where we have to concentrate if you are going to be impactful. But focus goes beyond to finding out what matters to fellow club members, not just to what business they are in or what sport they like! Invest genuine time in learning what really matters to them and how you can help.
3. Pitch In. Many times, the biggest and most powerful people in the world have something they’d like help with. In Toastmasters, we can practice by pitching in and helping our District leaders. You be glad you did because in turn, it will give you the confidence to reach out in the business world. Too many people never reach out to those above them due to the fear that they wouldn’t be able to offer anything in return. You have more to offer than you realize.
4. Social Gold. Most job openings are filled through networking and referrals, and making connections is no different. You automatically arrive with credibility when a mutual friend refers you. Spend more time connecting with your current network of Toastmasters, friends and colleagues. You will be surprised where it leads.
5. Make real friends. You only make friends with people you genuinely want in your life. The same rule goes for bigger-name connections. Don’t over-think it. Be human, be helpful and most will be happy to help in return, regardless of who they are.
6. It is the simple things that matter. Send birthday cards. Hand them your favorite book with a signed personal note inside. Send the family Christmas card. Be genuinely helpful. You’d be surprised how the simplest things never get done. Being memorable isn’t as hard as some think!
It all comes back to helping others. If you spent 100 percent of your waking hours thinking about how you can help absolutely everyone you meet — from the woman who hands you your Starbucks coffee each morning to the President of your company – this is how you build genuine relationships.
Author: Michelle Hanchey, DTM